Act V. Scene
III.
Scene III.—Gloucestershire. The Garden of
SHALLOW'S House.
Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, SILENCE,
BARDOLPH, the Page, and DAVY.
Shal. Nay, you shall see mine orchard, where,
in an arbour, we will eat a last year's pippin of
my own grafting, with a dish of caraways, and
so forth; come, cousin Silence; and then to bed.
Fal. 'Fore God, you have here a goodly dwell-
ing, and a rich.
Shal. Barren, barren, barren; beggars all,
beggars all, Sir John: marry, good air. Spread,
Davy; spread Davy: well said, Davy.
Fal. This Davy serves you for good uses; he
is your serving-man and your husband.
Shal. A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good
varlet, Sir John: by the mass, I have drunk too
much sack at supper: a good varlet. Now sit
down, now sit down. Come, cousin.
Sil. Ah, sirrah! quoth a', we shall
Do nothing but eat, and make good cheer,
And praise God for the merry year;
When flesh is cheap and females dear,
And lusty lads roam here and there,
So merrily,
And ever among so merrily.
Fal. There's a merry heart! Good Master
Silence, I'll give you a health for that anon.
Shal. Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.
Davy. Sweet sir, sit; I'll be with you anon:
most sweet sir, sit. Master page, good master
page, sit. Proface! What you want in meat we'll
have in drink: but you must bear: the heart's
all. [Exit.
Shal. Be merry, Master Bardolph; and my
little soldier there, be merry.
Sil. Be merry, be merry, my wife has all;
For women are shrews, both short and tall;
'Tis merry in hall when beards wag all,
And welcome merry Shrove-tide.
Be merry, be merry.
Fal. I did not think Master Silence had been
a man of this mettle.
Sil. Who, I? I have been merry twice and
once ere now.
Re-enter DAVY.
Davy. There's a dish of leather-coats for you.
[Setting them before BARDOLPH.
Shal. Davy!
Davy. Your worship! I'll be with you straight.
A cup of wine, sir?
Sil. A cup of wine that's brisk and fine,
And drink unto the leman mine;
And a merry heart lives long-a.
Fal. Well said, Master Silence.
Sil. And we shall be merry, now comes in the
sweet o' the night.
Fal. Health and long life to you. Master
Silence.
Sil. Fill the cup, and let it come;
I'll pledge you a mile to the bottom.
Shal. Honest Bardolph, welcome: if thou want-
est anything and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart.
[To the Page.] Welcome, my little tiny thief;
and welcome indeed too. I'll drink to Master
Bardolph and to all the cavaleiroes about London.
Davy. I hope to see London once ere I die.
Bard. An I might see you there, Davy,—
Shal. By the mass, you'll crack a quart to-
gether: ha! will you not. Master Bardolph?
Bard. Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.
Shal. By God's liggens, I thank thee. The
knave will stick by thee, I can assure thee that:
a' will not out; he is true bred.
Bard. And I'll stick by him, sir.
Shal. Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing:
be merry. [Knocking within.] Look who's at
door there. Ho! who knocks? [Exit DAVY.
Fal. [To SILENCE, uho drinks a bumper.]
Why, now you have done me right.
Sil. Do me right,
And dub me knight:
Samingo.
Is't not so?
Fal. 'Tis so.
Sil. Is't so? Why, then, say an old man can
do somewhat.
Re-enter DAVY.
Davy. An't please your worship, there's one
Pistol come from the court with news.
Fal. From the court! let him come in.
Enter PISTOL.
How now, Pistol!
Pist. Sir John, God save you, sir!
Fal. What wind blew you hither, Pistol?
Pist. Not the ill wind which blows no man to
good.
Sweet knight, thou art now one of the greatest
men in this realm.
Sil. By'r lady, I think a' be, but goodman
Puff of Barson.
Pist. Puff!
Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!
Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
And helter-skelter have I rode to thee,
And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
And golden times and happy news of price.
Fal. I prithee now, deliver them like a man
of this world.
Pist. A foutra for the world and worldlings
base!
I speak of Africa and golden joys.
Fal. O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
Sil. And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.
Pist. Shall dunghill curs confront the Heli-
cons?
And shall good news be baffled?
Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.
Shal. Honest gentleman, I know not your
breeding.
Pist. Why then, lament therefore.
Shal. Give me pardon, sir: if, sir, you come with
news from the court, I take it there is but two
ways: either to utter them, or to conceal them.
I am, sir, under the king, in some authority.
Pist. Under which king, Bezonian? speak,
or die.
Shal. Under King Harry.
Pist. Harry the Fourth? or Fifth?
Shal. Harry the Fourth.
Pist. A foutra for thine office!
Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king;
Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth:
When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.
Fal. What! is the old king dead?
Pist. As nail in door; the things I speak are
just.
Fal. Away, Bardolph! saddle my horse.
Master Robert Shallow, choose what office thou
wilt in the land, 'tis thine. Pistol, I will double-
charge thee with dignities.
Bard. O joyful day!
I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
Pist. What! I do bring good news.
Fal. Carry Master Silence to bed. Master
Shallow, my Lord Shallow, be what thou wilt, I
am Fortune's steward. Get on thy boots: we'll
ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph!
[Exit BARDOLPH.] Come, Pistol, utter more to
me; and, withal devise something to do thyself
good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow: I know the
young king is sick for me. Let us take any
man's horses; the laws of England are at my
commandment. Happy are they which have
been my friends, and woe unto my lord chief
justice!
Pist. Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
'Where is the life that late I led?' say they:
Why, here it is: welcome these pleasant days!
[Exeunt.
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