William Shakespeare's Troilus and Cressida in the complete original text.
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Troilus and Cressida

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Act V. Scene II.

Scene II.— The Same. Before CALCHAS'


Dio. What, are you up here, ho! speak.
Cal. [Within.] Who calls?
Dio. Diomed. Calchas, I think. Where 's
your daughter?
Cal. [Within.] She comes to you.

Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance;
after them THERSITES.
Ulyss. Stand where the torch may not dis-
cover us.

Tro. Cressid comes forth to him.
Dio. How now, my charge!
Cres. Now, my sweet guardian! Hark! a
word with you. [Whispers.
Tro. Yea, so familiar!
Ulyss. She will sing any man at first sight.
Ther. And any man may sing her, if he can
take her cliff; she's noted.
Dio. Will you remember?
Cres. Remember! yes.
Dio. Nay, but do, then;
And let your mind be coupled with your words.
Tro. What should she remember?
Ulyss. List!
Cres. Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more
to folly.
Ther. Roguery!
Dio. Nay, then,—
Cres. I'll tell you what,—
Dio. Foh, foh! come, tell a pin: you are
Cres. In faith, I cannot. What would you
have me do?
Ther. A juggling trick,—to be secretly open.
Dio. What did you swear you would bestow
on me?
Cres. I prithee, do not hold me to mine
Bid me do anything but that, sweet Greek.
Dio. Good-night
Tro. Hold, patience!
Ulyss. How now, Trojan?
Cres. Diomed,—
Dio. No, no, good-night; I'll be your fool no
Tro. Thy better must.
Cres. Hark! one word in your ear.
Tro. O plague and madness!
Ulyss. You are mov'd, prince; let us depart,
I pray you,
Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself
To wrathful terms. This place is dangerous;
The time right deadly. I beseech you, go.
Tro. Behold, I pray you!
Ulyss. Nay, good my lord, go off:
You flow to great distraction; come, my lord.
Tro. I pray thee, stay.
Ulyss. You have not patience; come.
Tro. I pray you, stay. By hell, and all hell's
I will not speak a word!
Dio. And so, good-night.
Cres. Nay, but you part in anger.
Tro. Doth that grieve thee?
O wither'd truth!
Ulyss. Why, how now, lord?
Tro. By Jove,
I will be patient.
Cres. Guardian!—why, Greek!
Dio. Fob, foh! adieu; you palter.
Cres. In faith, I do not: come hither once
Ulyss. You shake, my lord, at something:
will you go?
You will break out.
Tro. She strokes his cheek!
Ulyss. Come, come.
Tro. Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak
a word:
There is between my will and all offences
A guard of patience: stay a little while.
Ther. How the devil Luxury, with his fat
rump and potato finger, tickles these together!
Fry, lechery, fry!
Dio. But will you, then?
Cres. In faith, I will, la; never trust me else.
Dio. Give me some token for the surety of it.
Cres. I'll fetch you one. [Exit.
Ulyss. You have sworn patience.
Tro. Fear me not, sweet lord;
I will not be myself, nor have cognition
Of what I feel: I am all patience.

Re-enter CRESSIDA.
Ther. Now the pledge! now, now, now!
Cres. Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve.
Tro. O beauty! where is thy faith?
Ulyss. My lord—
Tro. I will be patient; outwardly I will.
Cres. You look upon that sleeve; behold it
He loved me—O false wench!—Give't to me
Dio. Whose was't?
Cres. It is no matter, now I have't again.
I will not meet with you to-morrow night.
I prithee, Diomed, visit me no more.
Ther. Now she sharpens: well said, whet-
Dio. I shall have it.
Cres. What, this?
Dio. Ay, that.
Cres. O! all you gods. O pretty, pretty
Thy master now lies thinking in his bed
Of thee and me; and sighs, and takes my glove,
And gives memorial dainty kisses to it,
As I kiss thee. Nay, do not snatch it from me;
He that takes that doth take my heart withal.
Dio. I had your heart before; this follows it.
Tro. I did swear patience.
Cres. You shall not have it, Diomed; faith
you shall not;
I'll give you something else.
Dio. I will have this. Whose was it?
Cres. 'Tis no matter.
Dio. Come, tell me whose it was.
Cres. 'Twas one's that loved me better than
you will.
But, now you have it, take it.
Dio. Whose was it?
Cres. By all Diana's waiting-women yond,
And by herself, I will not tell you whose.
Dio. To-morrow will I wear it on my helm,
And grieve his spirit that dares not challenge
Tro. Wert thou the devil, and wor'st it on
thy horn,
It should be challeng'd.
Cres Well, well, 'tis done, 'tis past: and yet
it is not:
I will not keep my word.
Dio. Why then, farewell;
Thou never shalt mock Diomed again.
Cres. You shall not go: one cannot speak a
But it straight starts you.
Dio. I do not like this fooling.
Ther. Nor I, by Pluto: but that that likes
not me
Pleases me best.
Dio. What, shall I come? the hour?
Cres. Ay, come:—O Jove!—
Do come:—I shall be plagu'd.
Dio. Farewell till then.
Cres. Good-night: I prithee, come.—
Troilus, farewell! one eye yet looks on thee,
But with my heart the other eye doth see.
Ah! poor our sex; this fault in us I find,
The error of our eye directs our mind.
What error leads must err. O! then conclude
Minds sway'd by eyes are full of turpitude.
Ther. A proof of strength she could not pub-
lish more,
Unless she said, 'My mind is now turn'd whore.'
Ulyss. All's done, my lord.
Tro. It is.
Ulyss. Why stay we, then?
Tro. To make a recordation to my soul
Of every syllable that here was spoke.
But if I tell how these two did co-act,
Shall I not lie in publishing a truth? 116
Sith yet there is a credence in my heart,
An esperance so obstinately strong,
That doth invert the attest of eyes and ears,
As if those organs had deceptions functions,
Created only to calumniate.
Was Cressid here?
Ulyss. I cannot conjure, Trojan.
Tro. She was not, sure.
Ulyss. Most sure she was.
Tro. Why, my negation hath no taste of
Ulyss. Nor mine, my lord: Cressid was here
but now.
Tro. Let it not be believ'd for womanhood!
Think we had mothers; do not give advantage
To stubborn critics, apt, without a theme,
For depravation, to square the general sex
By Cressid's rule: rather think this not Cressid.
Ulyss. What hath she done, prince, that can
soil our mothers?
Tro. Nothing at all, unless that this were she.
Ther. Will he swagger himself out on's own
Tro. This she? no, this is Diomed's Cressida.
If beauty have a soul, this is not she;
If souls guide vows, if vows be sanctimony,
If sanctimony be the gods' delight,
If there be rule in unity itself,
This is not she. O madness of discourse,
That cause sets up with and against itself;
Bi-fold authority! where reason can revolt
Without perdition, and loss assume all reason
Without revolt: this is, and is not, Cressid.
Within my soul there doth conduce a fight
Of this strange nature that a thing inseparate
Divides more wider than the sky and earth;
And yet the spacious breadth of this division
Admits no orifice for a point as subtle
As Ariachne's broken woof to enter.
Instance, O instance! strong as Pluto's gates;
Cressid is mine, tied with the bonds of heaven:
Instance, O instance! strong as heaven itself;
The bonds of heaven are slipp'd, dissolv'd, and
And with another knot, five-finger-tied,
The fractions of her faith, orts of her love,
The fragments, scraps, the bits, and greasy
Of her o'er-eaten faith, are bound to Diomed.
Ulyss. May worthy Troilus be half attach'd
With that which here his passion doth express?
Tro. Ay, Greek; and that shall be divulged
In characters as red as Mars his heart
Inflam'd with Venus: never did young man
With so eternal and so fix'd a soul.
Hark, Greek: as much as I do Cressid love,
go much by weight hate I her Diomed;
That sleeve is mine that he'll bear on his helm;
Were it a casque compos'd by Vulcan's skill,
My sword should bite it. Not the dreadful spout
Which shipmen do the hurricane call, 169
Constring'd in mass by the almighty sun,
Shall dizzy with more clamour Neptune's ear
In his descent than shall my prompted sword
Falling on Diomed.
Ther. He'll tickle it for his concupy.
Tro. O Cressid! O false Cressid! false, false,
Let all untruths stand by thy stained name,
And they'll seem glorious.
Ulyss. O! contain yourself;
Your passion draws ears hither.

Enter ÆNEAS.
Æne. I have been seeking you this hour, my
Hector, by this, is arming him in Troy:
Ajax, your guard, stays to conduct you home.
Tro. Have with you, prince. My courteous
lord, adieu.
Farewell, revolted fair! and Diomed,
Stand fast, and wear a castle on thy head!
Ulyss. I'll bring you to the gates.
Tro. Accept distracted thanks.
Ther. Would I could meet that rogue Dio-
med! I would croak like a raven; I would bode,
I would bode. Patroclus would give me any
thing for the intelligence of this whore: the
parrot will not do more for an almond than
he for a commodious drab. Lechery, lechery;
still, wars and lechery: nothing else holds fashion.
A burning devil take them! [Exit.
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