William Shakespeare's The Tempest, tells the tale of an exiled Duke and his daughter marooned on the sandy, idyllic, mysterious shores of an island paradise in the Mediterranean sea.
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The Tempest

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Act II. Scene II.

Scene II. Another Part of the Island.

Enter CALIBAN, with a burden of wood.
A noise of thunder heard.

Cal. All the infections that the sun sucks up
From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall, and make
him
By inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear me,
And yet I needs must curse. But they'll nor
pinch,
Fright me with urchin-shows, pitch me i'the
mire,
Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the dark
Out of my way, unless he bid 'em; but
For every trifle are they set upon me:
Sometime like apes, that mow and chatter at me
And after bite me; then like hedge-hogs, which
Lie tumbling in my bare-foot way and mount
Their pricks at my foot-fall; sometime am I
All wound with adders, who with cloven tongues
Do hiss me into madness.—

Enter TRINCULO.
Lo now! lo!
Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me
For bringing wood in slowly: I'll fall flat;
Perchance he will not mind me.
Trin; Here's neither bush nor shrub to bear
off any weather at all, and another storm brew-
ing; I hear it sing i' the wind: yond same black
cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul bombard
that would shed his liquor. If it should thunder
as it did before, I know not where to hide my
head: yond same cloud cannot choose but fall
by pailfuls.—What have we here? a man or a
fish? 'Dead or alive? A fish: he smells like a
fish; a very ancient and fish-like smell; a kind
of not of the newest Poor-John. A strange fish!
Were I in England now,—as once I was,—and
had but this fish painted, not a holiday fool there
but would give a piece of silver: there would
this monster make a man; any strange beast
there makes a man. When they will not give a
doit to relieve a lame beggar, they will lay out
ten to see a dead Indian. Legg'd like a man!
and his fins like arms! Warm, o' my troth; I do
now let loose my opinion, hold it no longer;
this is no fish, but an islander, that hath lately
suffered by a thunderbolt. [Thunder.] Alas!
the storm is come again: my best way is to creep
under his gaberdine; there is no other shelter
hereabout: misery acquaints a man with strange
bedfellows. I will here shroud till the dregs of
the storm be past.

Enter STEPHANO, singing; a bottle in his hand.
Ste. I shall no more to sea, to sea,
Here shall I die a-shore:—
This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man's
funeral:
Well, here's my comfort. [Drinks.
The master, the swabber, the boatswain and I,
The gunner and his mate,
Lov'd Mall, Meg, and Marian and Margery,
But none of us car'd for Kate;
For she had a tongue with a tang,
Would cry to a sailor, 'Go hang!'
She lov'd not the savour of tar nor of pitch,
Yet a tailor might scratch her where-e'er she did itch:
Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang.
This is a scurvy tune too: but here's my comfort.
[Drinks.
Cal. Do not torment me: O!
Ste. What's the matter? Have we devils here?
Do you put tricks upon us with savages and
men of Ind? Ha! I have not 'scaped drowning,
to be afeard now of your four legs; for it hath
been said, As proper a man as ever went on four
legs cannot make him give ground; and it shall
be said so again while Stephano breathes at's
nostrils.
Cal. The spirit torments me: O!
Ste. This is some monster of the isle with
four legs, who hath got, as I take it, an ague.
Where the devil should he learn our language?
I will give him some relief, if it be but for that:
if I can recover him and keep him tame and
get to Naples with him, he's a present for any
emperor that ever trod on neat's-leather.
Cal. Do not torment me, prithee: I'll bring
my wood home faster.
Ste. He's in his fit now and does not talk
after the wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if
he have never drunk wine afore it will go near
to remove his fit. If I can recover him, and
keep him tame, I will not take too much for
him: he shall pay for him that hath him, and
that soundly,
Cal. Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou
wilt anon, I know it by thy trembling: now
Prosper works upon thee.
Ste. Come on your ways: open your mouth;
here is that which will give language to you, cat.
Open your mouth: this will shake your shaking,
I can tell you, and that soundly [gives CALIBAN
drink]: you cannot tell who's your friend; open
your chaps again.
Trin. I should know that voice: it should
be—but he is drowned, and these are devils. O!
defend me.
Ste. Four legs and two voices; a most deli-
cate monster! His forward voice now is to
speak well of his friend; his backward voice
is to utter foul speeches, and to detract. If all
the wine in my bottle will recover him, I will
help his ague. Come. Amen! I will pour some
in thy other mouth.
Trin. Stephano!
Ste. Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy!
mercy! This is a devil, and no monster: I will
leave him; I have no long spoon.
Trin. Stephano!—if thou beest Stephano,;
touch me, and speak to me; for I am Trinculo:
—be not afeard—thy good friend Trinculo.
Ste. If thou beest Trinculo, come forth. I'll
pull thee by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo's
legs, these are they. Thou art very Trinculo
indeed! How cam'st thou to be the siege of this
moon-calf? Can he vent Trinculos?
Trin. I took him to be killed with a thunder-
stroke. But art thou not drowned, Stephano?
I hope now thou art not drowned. Is the storm
overblown? I hid me under the dead moon-
calf s gaberdine for fear of the storm. And art
thou living, Stephano? O Stephano! two Neapo-
litans 'scaped!
Ste. Prithee, do not turn me about: my
stomach is not constant.
Cal. [Aside.] These be fine things an if they
be not sprites.
That's a brave god and bears celestial liquor:
I will kneel to him.
Ste. How didst thou 'scape? How cam'st
thou hither? swear by this bottle, how thou
cam'st hither. I escaped upon a butt of sack,
which the sailors heaved overboard, by this
bottle! which I made of the bark of a tree with
mine own hands, since I was cast ashore.
Cal. I'll swear upon that bottle, to be thy
true subject; for the liquor is not earthly.
Ste. Here: swear then, how thou escapedst.
Trin. Swam ashore, man, like a duck: I can
swim like a duck, I'll be sworn.
Ste. Here, kiss the book [gives TRINCULO
drink]. Though thou canst swim like a duck,
thou art made like a goose.
Trin. O Stephano! hast any more of this?
Ste. The whole butt, man: my cellar is
in a rock by the seaside, where my wine is
hid. How now, moon-calf! how does thine
ague?
Cal. Hast thou not dropped from heaven?
Ste. Out o' the moon, I do assure thee: I was
the man in the moon, when time was.
Cal. I have seen thee in her, and I do adore
thee; my mistress showed me thee, and thy dog,
and thy bush.
Ste. Come, swear to that; kiss the book; I
will furnish it anon with new contents; swear.
Trin. By this good light, this is a very shallow
monster.—I afeard of him!—a very weak mon-
ster.—The man i' the moon! a most poor credu-
lous monster!—Well drawn, monster, in good
sooth.
Cal. I'll show thee every fertile inch o' the
island;
And I will kiss thy foot. I prithee, be my god.
Trin. By 'this light, a most perfidious and
drunken monster: when his god's asleep, he'll
rob his bottle.
Cal. I'll kiss thy foot: I'll swear myself thy
subject.
Ste. Come on then; down, and swear.
Trin. I shall laugh myself to death at this
puppy-headed monster. A most scurvy mon
ster! I could find in my heart to beat him,—
Ste. Come, kiss.
Trin. But that the poor monster's in drink:
an abominable monster!
Cal. I'll shew thee the best springs; I'll
I pluck thee berries;
I'll fish for thee, and get thee wood enough.
A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!
I'll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,
Thou wondrous man.
Trin. A most ridiculous monster, to make a
wonder of a poor drunkard!
Cal. I prithee, let me bring thee where crabs
grow;
And I with my long nails will dig thee pig-nuts;
Show thee a jay's nest and instruct thee how
To snare the nimble marmozet; I'll bring
thee
To clust'ring filberts, and sometimes I'll get thee
Young scamels from the rock. Wilt thou go
with me?
Ste. I prithee now, lead the way, without any
more talking.—Trinculo, the king and all our
company else being drowned, we will inherit
here.—Here; bear my bottle.—Fellow Trinculo,
we'll fill him by and by again.
Cal. Farewell, master; farewell, farewell.
[Sings drunkenly.
Trin. A howling monster, a drunken monster.
Cal. No more dams I'll make for fish;
Nor fetch in firing
At requiring,
Nor scrape trenchering, nor wash dish;
'Ban, 'Ban, Ca—Calrban,
Has a new master—Get a new man.
Freedom, high-day! high-day, freedom! free-
dom! high-day, freedom!
Ste. O brave monster! lead the way. [Exeunt.
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