William Shakespeare's King Henry the Fourth, Part II in the complete original text.
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HOME > Plays > The Second Part of King Henry the Fourth > Act V. Scene I.

The Second Part of King Henry the Fourth

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Act V. Scene I.

Act V. Scene I.—Gloucestershire. A Hall in
SHALLOW'S House.

Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH,
and Page.

Shal. By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away
to-night. What! Davy, I say.
Fal. You must excuse me. Master Robert
Shallow.
Shal. I will not excuse you; you shall not be
excused; excuses shall not be admitted; there
is no excuse shall serve; you shall not be ex-
cused. Why, Davy!

Enter DAVY.
Davy. Here, sir.
Shal. Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see,
Davy; let me see: yea, marry, William cook, bid
him come hither. Sir John, you shall not be
excused.
Davy. Marry, sir, thus; those precepts can-
not be served: and again, sir, shall we sow the
headland with wheat?
Shal. With red wheat, Davy. But for William
cook: are there no young pigeons?
Davy. Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note
for shoeing and plough-irons.
Shal. Let it be cast and paid. Sir John, you
shall not be excused.
Davy. Now, sir, a new link to the bucket
must needs be had: and, sir, do you mean to
stop any of William's wages, about the sack he
lost the other day at Hinckley fair?
Shal. A' shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy,
a couple of short-legged hens, a joint of mutton,
and any pretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William
cook.
Davy. Doth the man of war stay all night,
sir?
Shal. Yea, Davy. I will use him well. A
friend i' the court is better than a penny in
purse. Use his men well, Davy, for they arc
arrant knaves, and will backbite.
Davy. No worse than they are back-bitten,
sir; for they have marvellous foul linen.
Shal. Well conceited, Davy: about thy busi-
ness, Davy.
Davy. I beseech you, sir, to countenance
William Visor of Wincot against Clement Perkes
of the hill.
Shal. There are many complaints, Davy,
against that Visor: that Visor is an arrant knave,
on my knowledge.
Davy. I grant your worship that he is a
knave, sir; but yet. God forbid, sir, but a knave
should have some countenance at his friend's
request. An honest man, sir, is able to speak for
himself, when a knave is not, I have served
your worship truly, sir, this eight years; and if
I cannot once or twice in a quarter bear out a
knave against an honest man, I have but a very
little credit with your worship. The knave is
mine honest friend, sir; therefore, I beseech
your worship, let him be countenanced.
Shal. Go to; I say he shall have no wrong.
Look about, Davy. [Exit DAVY.] Where are you,
Sir John? Come, come, come; off with your boots.
Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.
Bard. I am glad to see your worship.
Shal. I thank thee with all my heart, kind
Master Bardolph:—[To the Page.] and welcome,
my tall fellow. Come, Sir John.
Fal. I'll follow you, good Master Robert
Shallow. [Exit SHALLOW.] Bardolph, look to our
horses. [Exeunt BARDOLPH and Page.] If I
were sawed into quantities, I should make four
dozen of such bearded hermit's staves as Master
Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to see the
semblable coherence of his men's spirits and his:
they, by observing him, do bear themselves like
foolish justices; he, by conversing with them, is
turned into a justice-like serving-man. Their
spirits are so married in conjunction with the
participation of society that they flock together
in consent, like so many wild-geese. If I had a
suit to Master Shallow, I would humour his men
with the imputation of being near their master:
if to his men, I would curry with Master Shallow
that no man could better command his servants.
It is certain that either wise bearing or ignorant
carriage is caught, as men take diseases, one of
another: therefore let men take heed of their
company. I will devise matter enough out of
this Shallow to keep Prince Harry in continual
laughter the wearing out of six fashions,—which
is four terms, or two actions,—and a' shall laugh
without internallums. O! it is much that a lie
with a slight oath and a jest with a sad brow
will do with a fellow that never had the ache in
his shoulders. O! you shall see him laugh till
his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up I
Shal. [ Within.] Sir John!
Fal. I come, Master Shallow: I come. Master
Shallow. [Exit.
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