William Shakespeare's As You Like It in the complete original text.
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As You Like It

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Act V. Scene IV.

Scene IV.—Another Part of the Forest.

Enter DUKE Senior, AMIENS, JAQUES,
ORLANDO, OLIVER, and CELIA.

Duke S. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the
boy
Can do all this that he hath promised?
Orl. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes
do not;
As those that fear they hope, and know they
fear.

Enter ROSALIND, SILVIUS, and PHEBE.
Ros. Patience once more, whiles our compact
is urg'd.
[To the DUKE.] You say, if I bring in your Rosa-
lind,
You will bestow her on Orlando here?
Duke S. That would I, had I kingdoms to
give with her.
Ros. [To ORLANDO.] And you say, you will
have her when I bring her?
Orl. That would I, were I of all kingdoms
king.
Ros. [To PHEBE.] You say, that you'll marry
me, if I be willing?
Phe. That will I, should I die the hour after.
Ros. But if you do refuse to marry me,
You'll give yourself to this most faithful shep
herd?
Phe. So is the bargain.
Ros. [To SILVIUS.] You say, that you'll have
Phebe,ifshewill?
Sil. Though to have her and death were both
one tiling.
Ros. I have promis'd to make all tins matter
even.
Keep you your word, O duke, to give your
daughter;
You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter;
Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me,
Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd;
Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her,
If she refuse me: and from hence I go,
To make these doubts all even.
[Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA.
Duke S. I do remember in this shepherd
boy
Some lively touches of my daughter's favour.
Orl. My lord, the first time that I ever saw
him,
Methought he was a brother to your daughter;
But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,
And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments
Of many desperate studies by his uncle,
Whom he reports to be a great magician,
Obscured in the circle of this forest.

Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY.
Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and
these couples are coming to the ark. Here comes
a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues
are called fools.
Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all!
Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome. This
is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so
often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier,
he swears.
Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put
me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; I
have flattered a lady; I have been politic with
my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have un-
done three tailors; I have had four quarrels,
and like to have fought one.
Jaq. And how was that ta'en up?
Touch. Faith, we met, and found the quarrel
was upon the seventh cause. 52
Jaq. How seventh cause? Good my lord,
like this fellow.
Duke S. I like him very well.
Touch. God 'ild you, sir: I desire you of the
like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of
the country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear,
according as marriage binds and blood breaks.
A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but
mine own: a poor humour of mine, sir, to take
that that no man else will. Rich honesty dwells
like a miser, sir, in a poor house, as your pearl in
your foul oyster.
Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and
sententious.
Touch. According to the fool's bolt, sir, and
such dulcet diseases.
Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you
find the quarrel on the seventh cause?
Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed:—
bear your body more seeming, Audrey:—as thus,
sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's
beard: he sent me word, if I said his beard was
not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is
called 'the retort courteous.' If I sent him word
again, it was not well cut, he would send me
word, he cut it to please himself: this is called
the 'quip modest.' If again, it was not well cut,
he disabled my judgment: this is called the
'reply churlish.' If again, it was not well cut, he
would answer, I spake not true: this is called
the 'reproof valiant:' if again, it was not well
cut, he would say, I lie: this is called the
'countercheck quarrelsome': and so to the 'lie
circumstantial,' and the 'lie direct.'
Jaq. And how oft did you say his beard was
not well cut?
Touch. I durst go no further than the 'lie
circumstantial,' nor he durst not give me the 'lie
direct;' and so we measured swords and parted.
Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the de-
grees of the lie?
Touch. O sir, we quarrel in print; by the
book, as you have books for good manners: I
will name you the degrees. The first, the 'retort
courteous;' the second, the 'quip modest;' the
third, the 'reply churlish;' the fourth, the 're-
proof valiant;' the fifth, the 'countercheck
quarrelsome;' the sixth, the 'lie with circum-
stance;' the seventh, the 'lie direct.' All these
you may avoid but the lie direct; and you may
avoid that too, with an 'if.' I knew when seven
justices could not take up a quarrel; but when
the parties were met themselves, one of them
thought but of an 'if,' as 'If you said so, then I
said so;' and they shook hands and swore
brothers. Your 'if' is the only peace-maker;
much virtue in 'if.'
Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's
as good at any thing, and yet a fool.
Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-
horse, and under the presentation of that he
shoots his wit.

Enter HYMEN, leading ROSALIND in woman's
clothes, and CELIA.
Still Music.
Hym. Then is there mirth in heaven,
When earthly things made even
Atone together.
Good duke, receive thy daughter;
Hymen from heaven brought her;
Yea, brought her hither,
That thou mightst join her hand with his,
Whose heart within her bosom is.
Ros. [To DUKE S.] To you I give myself, for I
am yours.
[To ORLANDO.] To you I give myself, for I am
yours.
Duke S. If there be truth in sight, you are my
daughter.
Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my
Rosalind.
Phe. If sight and shape be true,
Why then, my love adieu!
Ros. [To DUKE S.] I'll have no father, if you
be not he.
[To ORLANDO.] I'll have no husband, if you be
not he:
[To PHEBE.] Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not
she.
Hym. Peace, ho! I bar confusion:
'Tis I must make conclusion
Of these most strange events:
Here's eight that must take hands
To join in Hymen's bands,
If truth holds true contents.
[To ORLANDO and ROSALIND.] You and
you no cross shall part:
[To OLIVER and CELIA.] You and you
are heart in heart:
[To PHEBE.] You to his love must accord,
Or have a woman to your lord:
[To TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY.] You and
you are sure together,
As the winter to foul weather.
Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing,
Feed yourselves with questioning,
That reason wonder may diminish,
How thus we met, and these things finish.
SONG.
Wedding is great Juno's crown:
O blessed bond of board and bed!
'Tis Hymen peoples every town;
High wedlock then be honoured.
Honour, high honour, and renown,
To Hymen, god of every town!
Duke S. O my dear niece! welcome thou art
to me:
Even daughter, welcome in no less degree.
Phe. [To SILVIUS.] I will not eat my word,
now thou art mine;
Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.

Enter JAQUES DE BOYS.
Jaq. de B. Let me have audience for a word
or two;
I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,
That bring these tidings to this fair assembly.
Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day
Men of great worth resorted to this forest,
Address'd a mighty power, which were on foot
In his own conduct, purposely to take
His brother here and put him to the sword:
And to the skirts of this wild wood he came,
Where, meeting with an old religious man,
After some question with him, was converted
Both from his enterprise and from the world;
His crown bequeathing to his banish'd brother,
And all their lands restor'd to them again
That were with him exil'd. This to be true,
I do engage my life.
Duke S. Welcome, young man;
Thou offer's? fairly to thy brothers' wedding:
To one, his lands withheld; and to the other
A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.
First, in this forest, let us do those ends
That here were well begun and well begot;
And after, every of this happy number
That have endur'd shrewd days and nights with us,
Shall share the good of our returned fortune,
According to the measure of their states.
Meantime, forget this new-fall'n dignity,
And fall into our rustic revelry.
Play, music! and you, brides and bridegrooms all,
With measure heap'd in joy, to the measures fall.
Jaq. Sir, by your patience. If I heard you
rightly,
The duke hath put on a religious life,
And thrown into neglect the pompous court?
Jaq. de B. He hath.
Jaq. To him will I: out of these convertites
There is much matter to be heard and learn'd.
[To DUKE S.] You to your former honour I be-
queath;
Your patience and your virtue well deserve it:
[To ORLANDO.] You to a love that your true faith
doth merit:
[To OLIVER.] You to your land, and love, and
great allies:
[To SILVIUS] You to a long and well-deserved
bed:
[To TOUCHSTONE.] And you to wrangling; for thy
loving voyage
Is but for two months victual'd. So, to your
pleasures:
I am for other than for dancing measures.
Duke S. Stay, Jaques, stay.
Jaq. To see no pastime, I: what you would
have
I'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave. [Exit.
Duke S. Proceed, proceed: we will begin
these rites,
As we do trust they'll end, in true delights.
[A dance. Exeunt.


EPILOGUE.
SPOKEN BY ROSALIND.

It is not the fashion to see the lady the
epilogue; but it is no more unhandsome than
to see the lord the prologue. If it be true that
good wine needs no bush, 'tis true that a good
play needs no epilogue; yet to good wine they
do use good hushes, and good plays prove the
better by the help of good epilogues. What a
case am I in then, that am neither a good epi-
logue, nor cannot insinuate with you in the be-
half of a good play! I am not furnished like a
beggar, therefore to beg will not become me: my
way is, to conjure you; and I'll begin with the
women. I charge you, O women! for the love
you bear to men, to like as much of this play as
please you: and I charge you, O men! for the
love you bear to women,—as I perceive by your
simpering none of you hate them,—that between
you and the women, the play may please. If I
were a woman I would kiss as many of you as
had beards that pleased me, complexions that
liked me, and breaths that I defied not; and,
I am sure, as many as have good beards, or
good faces, or sweet breaths, will, for my kind
offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.
[Exeunt.

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